I’ve got a backlog of material — a Gallo (!) wine lunch, the "new" Bastide and a shameful new fast-food crush. But since other deadlines are having their way with me (Item 1: WHY IS VARIETY.COM RUINNING SO $%&! SLOW?), my erstwhile partner in crime has been pressed into work on the family farm.
How can you argue with prose like this:
"In a perfect world, everything would be as stark and void of color as these cupcakes. They are baneful in their absolute disdain for your tastelessness, and are true misanthropes as far as baked goods go."
That’s how blog The Black Oven describes its Full Metal Cupcake — or, as they term it, "Métal Noir."
— D.R. Stewart
(Editor’s note: This, from a man who usually despises cake.)