It would be fine with me if you ignored this post.

I have no business writing about it, but McDonald’s is giving away Southern Style Chicken Sandwiches today (May 15), free with purchase of a medium or large drink. They are doing this because they want to gouge the business model of a smaller, Atlanta-based fast-food franchise, Chick-fil-A. I only mention this because…

I tried McDonald’s chicken sandwich last week. Twice. It’s not as good as Chik-fil-A’s, but I really liked it.

Chickensand

(Oh, the shame.)

I’m like everybody else, only worse. I saw "Super Size Me." I was appropriately grossed out. I lost my inexplicable childhood taste for their hamburgers. McDonald’s destroys rainforests and clogs arteries; the waste produced by a single franchise could and probably does build landfills the size of Manhattan.

And then the bastards, with their infinite number of locations, had to go rip off an even more cherished childhood taste, the Chik-fil-A. And with my closest Chik-fil-A somewhere in Redondo Beach, I was vulnerable.

Brief history: I grew up in Fort Worth, TX, where mecca was Hulen Mall and Chik-fil-A was the caterer. It was fast food built around an absurdly simple chicken sandwich: a whole chicken breast, deep-fried in a seasoned batter but somehow still juicy and pliable. No ketchup, sauce, lettuce or tomato — just the bun and two slices of pickle.

I don’t know their frying secrets (although it appears McDonald’s might), but if they had somehow been able to trademark those two pickle slices, neither Chik-fil-A nor I would be in this position now. They added just the right note of tart against the junk-food flavor trifecta of salt, pepper and sugar (no processed food dodges corn syrup). The fact that McDonald’s recognized this stroke of genius and had the cojones to produce such a blatant duplication because they knew perfection when they saw it — well, I guess they deserve some credit, too.

They probably don’t. I’m just telling myself that because I liked their ripoff wannabe Chik-fil-A sandwich.

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “It would be fine with me if you ignored this post.

  1. ohiogirl

    Oh my.
    My brother-in-law LOVES Chick-fil-a.
    His wife works for McDonalds.
    I don’t think this is going to be pretty.

  2. Will

    I’m embarrassed to admit this too, but perhaps we can find solace in each others shame. My nearest Chick-fil-a is in Redondo Beach as well, but of course I drive by no less than two McDonalds on my way to and from work every day. Stopping by last night for a free try of their new Chick-fil-a rip-off felt a bit like I was cheating on my wife… I just hope Chick-fil-a never finds out.
    What’s worse… I know that I’ll do it again.

  3. Woolsey

    Holy crap! I grew up in Fort Worth! I ate at that Chick-Fil-A in Hulen Mall! What a small-ass world! I’ve been having the same déjà vu with the McDonald’s Chick-Faux-La lately: It’s totally Proustian for me. It puts me right back there at the Chick-Fil-A in Hulen Mall. Oh, man, I miss Cowtown…

  4. The need is clear: We need a Chick-faux-La support group, stat. (And major kudos to Woolsey for giving the McD sandwich the moniker it deserves. I bow deeply.)

  5. Webster

    I’ve eaten many a Chick-Fil-A in my life, and now I’ve had two or three of these Southern Style Chicken Sandwiches.
    It’s OK. But it’s no Chick-Fil-A. (But at least I can but one on Sunday.)

  6. InletDude

    Hello all,
    I am launching a “One-Bite” campaign. Go to McD’s, order a rip-off, take one bite, return, get money back.
    Then lather, rinse and repeat with the next McD’s tomorrow.
    The only way to show them our dislike is to hurt them where it counts.
    He he….
    —————————————
    But for some real McD’s rip-off history Google “Burger Chef”.
    —————————————
    Later Y’all

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