How to cure a hangover

A few weeks ago, I received a hangover cure in the mail, Hangover Buster. Last night I set about acquiring the necessary state.

Actually, I don’t think anyone gets a hangover on purpose — or maybe they do and I don’t hang out with the right masochists. I don’t even drink too much on purpose, and certainly not on a Tuesday (!), but when I got into bed last night, I realized that’s exactly what had happened.

So this is what happened:

7 pm: La Dolce Vita event to promote Starwood Hotels in Italy. (Duly noted: Starwood has a special deal for US travelers — 20% off their lowest available rates.) This was at the Wattles Mansion, a stunning estate that hides at the corner of Hollywood Blvd. and Curson. It was the second home of an Omaha businessman with the unfortunate name of Gurdon Wattles, but you can have any name you like if you can afford to have a 49-acre estate built in 1907. Today it’s HQ for the nonprofit Hollywood Heritage, which rents it out for events like this.

Also noted: Much of the Wattles acreage is now occupied by an enormous community garden. There were passionfruits growing on the chain-link fence that surrounds the property, which apparently is open to the public dawn to dusk and connects with Runyon Canyon hiking trails. (Can’t wait to explore this further; if anyone is a garden member or has more information, please email me.)

So: Great setting, nicely appointed in all black-and-white — although the ’70s-mod chairs had an unfortunate tendency to tip over in slow motion, gently depositing guests on the lawn. Wines were pleasant but mass-production Pinot Grigio and Trentino; the buffet included gazpacho shots topped with mozzarella balls (delicious) and a risotto made with red wine, lobster and, uh, raspberries and blueberries. (While not dreadful, decidedly weird.)

8 pm: At the valet, check the NBA scores: It’s halftime; we are being pummeled. Consider finding wine bar to wait out the game, the better to avoid the sound of husband inventing new curse words.

8:30 pm: Thought of drinking alone to avoid going home, no matter how sound the reason, is a little too "Mad Men." Walk in the door and am confronted with the sound of… someone playing the piano. The TV’s not even on. And instead of NBA misery, Doug is with two friends, one of whom just played keyboards for Jewel on "The Tonight Show," drinking Coronas. And he proceeded to play and drink beer for another two hours. It was great fun, although I did not drink beer; I drank wine.

10 am: I am late to work. Having guzzled water and lemon juice, I feel OK; almost hoping I don’t feel too good because I want to try my Hangover Buster.

10:30 am: Arrive at the office; I still qualify.

10:45 am: Open the Hangover Buster press release. Read the following:

For optimal results, take two tablets as directed before bedtime.

10:46 am: Sulk.

11:30 am: Give up and resolve hangover same way as everyone else: Coffee and a Hot Pocket heated inside a microwave sleeve. Feel better almost immediately.

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “How to cure a hangover

  1. I am Alfred Dilamani, CEO of Pillar Rock USA Corp. dba Hangover Buster.
    As you are all aware, hangover is also known as the morning after symptoms after a night of drinking.
    Therefore, the idea is to take a reliever before bedtime in order to hope to wake up refreshed.
    There currently does not exist a miracle cure that would instantaneously clear your hangover symptoms once you wake up with them.
    But, there exists Hangover Buster that if taken before bedtime as directed, it is highly possible to wake refreshed.
    According to your time list of activity, you forgot to take Hangover Buster before bedtime.
    Are you ready to put Hangover Buster to test as directed and experience waking up feeling great as opposed to waking up grouchy as you just experienced??
    I welcome your comments.
    Alfred Dilamani

  2. Wow, what a great comment by Alfred.
    Wine has got to be the worst hangover of them all. It almost starts as soon as you stop drinking the wine and your liver starts to process it. Headaches, and sleepiness take over, then the desire for more cheese and crackers.
    I drink a glass of water and take 4 advil before I go to bed, at least I don’t wake up with a head ache.

  3. Nick

    I never get a hangover from wine, only from hard alcohol. In fact, just last week I had the 9-course tasting menu at French Laundry, guzzled down pretty much every wine pairing, and woke up the next day feeling fine.
    Well, fine except for being kind of hungover.
    Uh… crap, there goes my premise.

  4. Joe Gilles

    I love this article. Please indulge as I briefly recap: I, the writer of the article, attend an invitation only party, and I must relish in an adult beverage and, now after being treating like a VIP– deservedly so– by the spirit of the article I suffer from a hangover. Boo f’cking Hoo.
    You poor poor woman. Get me the Kleenex. I have read this writer’s article periodically and each one is nothing more than a love fest and cry for the need to heard.
    Please, please Sir Peter find a writer who shares the information under which the by-line is intended and not a writer in need of Linus Blanket.

  5. Nick

    @Joe Gilles:
    You seem to have slipped into a coma somewhere around 1996 and just now woken up. Why don’t you look up “blog” on Wikipedia and read that entry plus all the attendant outside literature? I think it’d be a big help to you in understanding this magical world we call “the internet.” (Yep, we’ve de-capitalized the “I” in the intervening years.)
    Also: The main character in Sunset Blvd. is Joe GILLIS, in case that’s the oh-so-clever reference you were shooting for (which has in no way been done to death, resuscitated, done to death again, reincarnated as a magical dancing pony, done to death yet again, and finally beaten relentlessly in its dead-horse state).
    Good day, sir.

  6. step

    Now just imagine if you lived in Boston this past Tuesday – not only did the game finish up around midnight over here, but we had to drink more, even later, in celebration.
    Hangover Buster, I could have used you..

  7. Hi, Joe. I’ll take my lumps where they’re deserved, but I confess I’m baffled here.
    * What party isn’t invitation only?
    * What made you think I was looking for sympathy? No one forced me to drink too much wine; that was my mistake, as was not taking the Hangover Buster before bed.
    * Finally: “find a writer who shares the information under which the by-line is intended and not a writer in need of Linus Blanket.” I get the Linus reference, but what is “the information under which the by-line is intended”?
    Confusedly yours,
    dh

  8. dinebright

    I want some hangover buster…but not before YOU try it first. I’ll check back. Meantime to the person who thought taking 4 advil and water at bedtime after overindulging: in the ER we call this a cure for having a liver. Keep it up and you’ll find out what I mean.

  9. Andrew

    It’s one of those laws of the internet — no matter how utterly innocuous your story, there’s bound to be someone trolling around to take offense. This one is particularly head-scratching, I’ll admit.
    Although I take offense to your rebuttal: “What party isn’t invitation only?” I don’t know where you went to high school, but where I’m from the best parties were advertised on flyers that someone passed out at lunch, usually without the host’s knowledge. They would only last for 45 minutes until the cops showed up, but until then, pure gold.

  10. All this strife and stress over a post about a hangover cure?
    Shoot – I was just cracking up about the coffee and hot pocket comment (although for me it’s usually 7 up and a hot pocket).
    Funny post.

  11. Ashley

    When it comes to avoiding hangovers you really want to drink a lot of water while your drinking and before you go to bed. I tried a natural hangover remedy from this site, it worked very well. It got rid of a bad splitting headache I had after a night of heavy drinking. http://herbs4cures.ecrater.com/product.php?pid=2837399

  12. Experince the wide range of variety of chain link fence at reasonable Chain Link Fence Prices.Log on to: http://www.interlinkfence.com

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