Hopes and fears for six restaurants, in 10 words or less

The Kress has a ribbon-cutting ceremony tonight. In other news, the building used to contain a bomb shelter, which means you can put a car on the roof.

Clearing out a pile of recent press releases, I realized it’s impossible to visit new restaurants without some degree of prejudice. It doesn’t matter whether the pitch was emailed or typeset on 100% cotton bond; nothing prevents you from reading between the lines. All writers are cranks and food writers the crankiest of all, probably because we’re always hungry. 

Anyway, I am nothing if not self-lacerating. Here’s my hopes and fears for a half-dozen restaurants in 10 words or less, with absolutely no first-hand knowledge to support my views. Enjoy.

HOPE: Artisan bakery goes full menu, becomes full-time success.
FEAR: Chef "blends distinct Spanish and Japanese flavors." Fusion alert!

HOPE: The former Frederick’s of Hollywood put to stunning good use.
FEAR: Four floors of Hollywood nightclub in restaurant drag.

HOPE: "Top Chef: Chicago" contestant Antonia Lofaso makes her LA mark.
FEAR: SBE cares more about the velvet rope than the kitchen.

HOPE: Former Providence sous chef creates a destination restaurant in Glendale.
FEAR: Even if he has, Glendale won’t support it.

HOPE: Old old-school Italian with some life in her yet.
FEAR: Another Beverly Hills mausoleum, made trendy by paparazzi-dodging celebs.

HOPE: George Abou-Doud expands on the charm, menu of The Bowery.
FEAR: Empire building outstrips quality control. Also: "Italian gastropub."


1 Comment

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One response to “Hopes and fears for six restaurants, in 10 words or less

  1. Ha! You should try for haikus next 😉

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